I met Brett just about nine years ago when I got out of prison.  At that time, he was House Manager at the Clean and Sober House where I lived, and what a manager he was!  Brett’s story is not like many I have encountered.  The crossroads between life and death is paved in hopelessness and despair that can lead us to two different choices – do what it takes to live or do what it takes to die.  Brett made his decision.  After a night of drinking, and an argument that got physical with the mother of his son, the two left Brett.  Hopelessly alone in the darkest time of his life, Brett turned the gas stove on high, turned on all the burners, and waited to drift off into never-ending slumber.  There was a knock on the door from the neighborhood postman – it awoke Brett. In the same motion that he sat up in bed, he reached for his morning smoke.  At the ripe ole age of 23, Brett Hillman was not expected to live.  He was burned over 98% of his body, not to mention had been blown out of his house and into the neighbor’s back yard.  Close to 20 more years of drug abuse, and a life scared in ways I could never imagine, Brett lives today!

Almost two years ago an article was written about two men From Truly motivated that saved two people from a burning car – Brett was one of the men.  Last week after church was over Brett had kids in tow – interested, Carmin asked me about it.  “They’re foster kids that he has been bringing to church with him for the last month”  I replied.  Feeling led, Brett has taken a role in this foster family’s life and spends a good amount of time fixing up the property and mentoring the kids.  Kenny G is our House #3 Manager where Brett lives.  Kenny has been undergoing Hepatitis C treatment and Brett has not missed an appointment with Kenny so far.  For a man not expected to be alive, he is the driver of the Recovery Racing car, appropriately numbered 3D (third day).  Ninety-eight percent of Brett’s body is scared from the burns, 100% of his soul is saved, and never have I seen a man smile so big after not completing a race!  Brett has in every sense of the word, risen from the ashes and is now Truly Motivated!

In May of 2008 I drove up to the county building and made my way down the steps that lead to the entrance of Thurston County Jail. I am flooded with memories every time I walk in to a place like this, the smells, sounds, even the robot like folks that are trained to just go through the motions without much feeling. The only comforts that I have going in is that they will let me go when the work is done, and I am going to see some one that needs a fair shot.

That day it was Nathan Swenson, a 29 year old kid in for possession, an assault charge, and all but thrown away by society. Nathan is diagnosed with Dementia Praecox also known as Schizophrenia. Emotional blunting, intellectual deterioration, disorganized speech and behavior, delusions, and hallucinations are all associated with this diagnosis. I am well briefed on Nathan’s history, but I am more interested in his story: homeless, not much family, angry, confused, and lost in a broken system. We visit for about half an hour in a small glass box conversation scattered at best but the mission is clear – bring him home.

That was 18 months ago. Nathan has almost completed his court obligations, just passed his written test to get a license, and in a recent conversation said, “Since being here a Truly Motivated, my mental health has gotten a lot better!” God takes the broken parts and restores, takes those cast away and brings home, loves those deemed unlovely like my brother Nate!

One of the biggest challenges that we often encounter is housing women and children. How do you make it all work, with accountability, child care, lack of parenting skills, no job, and the guilt and shame mom may feel over their circumstances? At this present time we here at Truly Motivated Transitional Living are unable to house women with their children. It is almost as if you needed a model home where these women could live and learn the way a “healthy” family operates. You see most of the ladies we come in contact with have had a dysfunctional life. With their experiences of abuse from the mental to the physical and deep rooted unhealthy behaviors, it can take years to learn a new way. Ask yourself what becomes of the child if the behaviors and the chains of oppression are not broken? The cycle continues!

To hear Angel tell it, she did not want change. She wanted to stay in that place, sometimes the hardest part about change is just that – change. People in addiction whether active or arrested often times live their lives in fear and that is where Angel was at. Torn between wanting desperately out of the situation and the fear of what change may bring, she approached me and asked for help. We could not house her but I wanted to put her in a situation that ensured Victory in her life! I had what I thought was the perfect solution; I wanted to put her at Pastor Russ Blake’s house. Now that is change! She did not want to go; I basically had to tell her this is where you need to be. Here is what Russ had to say about this experience, “What an amazing opportunity it has been for us to have Angel and Ande in our home.  It really has provided us with a chance to mentor someone (who is very eager to re-learn life) in the most practical laboratory available; the laboratory of ‘doing life together’. Angel and Ande have indeed become a wonderful part of the Blake family and we are so blessed because of this experience.  We would recommend others in our position of life to avail themselves to this kind of mentoring, it’s the best!”(Russ Blake). Angel now has a full time Job, graduated from Thurston County drug court on the 25^th of September, Ande is enrolled in school, and they are both enjoying a healthy life free of active addiction.

When Brian came to Truly Motivated he had absolutely lost everything, and was in the middle of a divorce. The biggest problems Brian had to face was not so much his drug addiction but a whole host of lies his mind had lead him to believe. Guilt and shame plagued him, fear immobilized him, and his pride would not allow him to become real with himself. When I first met Brian I had asked him “so how are you doing” and his answer was typical of any guy “Oh I’m good” I proceded to tell him he did not have to lie to me. And that started us down a long hard road!

Jacob, Aaron, Devin, those are the names of his three precious boys that I have grown very close to. Brian was in and out of Truly Motivated Transitional Living for about two years never capable of getting honest, but his boys remained in my life. During one of those times that Brian was gone, I lead a youth retreat that Aaron, his middle son attended and in a questionnaire Aaron labeled his dad as his hero. Brian called us for help again and Carmin had the opportunity to tell Brian who Aaron considered to be his hero, after a long pause Brian asked in a quiet shaken voice “he said that”? That was the beginning of Brian’s true recovery journey. When Brian came back to Truly Motivated I wrote the word HERO on the bill of his hat to remind him that he was still indeed loved and cherished by those boys!

Is not funny how God’s grace works, how unconditional his love is, and how that love was manifested through Brian’s children! The very thing we all need to break through our hurts and hang ups is God’s mercy and grace that was communicated very loudly to Brian in that very simple yet highly esteemed word “HERO”. Brian has over a year and half clean and free, has his own place, continues to serve through service work, has a great job and the connection between Brian and his boys is undeniable. Brian holds his head up high, and walks confidently in who he is becoming in the Lord!

Randy has successfully transitioned out, continues to remain sober and is doing great!