Nathan
Drug addiction brought me to my knees. I couldn’t stop using though I really wanted to — it’s what we addicts call using against our own will. My life was in shambles and I was homeless living out of a car that was on its last leg. I wasn’t employable, my family didn’t want me around and I couldn’t be trusted. I was on the run from law enforcement. My mental state was one of dereliction, and hopelessness and a shell of a human being. I lived to use, and used to live. I could never get past the obsession of just one more use and was completely broken. I wanted to die, and couldn’t cope with the pain of what my existence had become. I loved my sons more than words can say, but I couldn’t stop using. The state was fed up, and said they would terminate my parental rights.
I was arrested again and sentenced to 12 months in jail. I would be released after 8 months with good behavior. When I was approaching 3 months before release I was scared and didn’t want to be in jail, but was afraid to release. I had no safe place to go. I was on the phone with my mother telling her what I was feeling — I didn’t want to go back to using — but didn’t know how not to, and had no idea how to live any more. My beautiful mother did some research and discovered Truly Motivated Transitional Living. I clearly remember what she said to me and it brings tears to my eyes just reflecting. She told me” Nathan I have found this place called Truly Motivated Transitional Living and I believe this where you need to go when you get released.” She went on to say,”God wants you to go here. I can feel with all my being. I can feel it in my stomach.” I agreed to go as I was out of options.
Skeptical, full of anxiety, broken, hopeless, coupled with a desire not wanting to use any more when I released I showed up to the door step of TMTL, had an interview with the staff and was accepted. They gave me hope, loved on me, and encouraged me to go on doing the next right thing. I had lived in self loathing, and hopelessness, so to me this felt huge. They set boundaries, and held me accountable as I lacked the self discipline to do so myself. They helped me set attainable goals, and how to pursue them. They helped me learn life skills I lacked. It was exemplified on how to live, how to be a parent, friend, how to be a member of society. They taught me about addiction, and how to battle it. They pointed me to a 12 step fellowship where I remain active today. The staff and house mates became family. I am forever grateful God placed these people in my life and I love them so much.
I lived at TMTL for 3 ½ years and accomplished many great things to better my life. TMTL gave me a safe place to stay, and was with me through it all. I since have transitioned out on my own. My life today is full of love, laughter, and joy. I have been in a four year apprenticeship, going to school part time, and working full time — I have one class left.
My parental rights were not terminated and am a stable, consistent father. I am engaged to my best friend Heather and will be married next spring. I have become a productive member of society, rather then the menace I once was, pay taxes, vote, and volunteer my time to give back. My family loves and trusts me, and our relationships have healed. I no longer break the law and as a result, have not returned to jail. My life continues to be blessed, and gets better each day. December 2018 I will celebrate 5 years clean and have no desire to use today. I have a relationship with God and no longer live a life of shame.
I believe with all my heart God didn’t make a mistake placing me in the loving care of TMTL. My mother was right; Truly Motivated was exactly where God wanted me. My life has changed 180 degrees from what it was. Thank you so much Truly Motivated — I love you so much, and thank you for helping save my life. Thank you for loving me, and helping me reunite with family.
God bless, Nathan Bates